AT THE SPEED OF NOOR

Just some Grab (an e-hailing car service) stories: 1. I had to wait The other day, the Grab I requested was stuck in traffic, which meant that what was supposed to be a 10-minute ride turned into a half-hour wait. When the driver finally arrived at the pickup point, he apologised profusely for the delay, all the while calling himself 'Uncle'. He looks like he's probably just a few years older than me though. I was about to correct him when I remembered how male Grab drivers tend to get chatty/intrusive when you are friendly to them, so I just shrugged it off. Does he genuinely think I'm his daughter's age or is this a new strategy to attract customers or something? 😅 2. He had to wait Had to Grab to the office today. I accidentally left something behind while walking towards the car, so I apologised profusely to the driver - a man who looks like he's around my father's age - for making him wait.  Him: "Tak perlu, lady boss jangan cakap sorry" (No ...

For the first time in my life today, I saw a hard labor foreign worker wearing glasses. I had to do a double take, because for over 30 years of me being alive, I've never seen a foreign construction worker wearing glasses here. It made me imagine if those among them who needed glasses had worn them... all the work they could've done or could have finished sooner... all the educational opportunities throughout their lives that they could have taken up... all the accidents they could've avoided/prevented. In case you forgot (as I usually do), short/long-sightedness is still a disability. Although these issues can be managed using glasses/contact lenses/lasik surgery, all these require money and a certain level of care that not all of us can afford. I'm so glad that the man I saw has glasses for his eyesight (I hope he has the right prescription!), but I also wish more people could get the help they need for conditions impacting their quality of life. It really is sad that...

Bumped into an old friend/neighbor whom I haven't seen in a while today. I didn't notice him at first. Not long after I put down my stuff on the empty table next to him, he looked up and said hi. I think he saw the panic/confusion in my eyes because he then asked, "How's aunty and uncle?" (i.e. my parents), and then it clicked who he was. He said he'd seen me around the cafe a couple of times doing work and stuff, but I didn't recognise him at all. It feels weird to be remembered... I always feel like a blurry insignificant extra in the background of people's movie of their life. I don't think I'll ever get used to being remembered. We had a few simple exchanges like, "How's your mom?"; "Where do you live now?"; "Is your bro still living in the neighborhood?";"I miss the playground"; "We haven't seen each other since high school!"; "Yea none of us are married so we're all pretty...

While commuting home on the LRT earlier, there were 2 men standing in front of me, animatedly talking to each other. They were so engrossed in their conversation that the man standing directly in front of me kept leaning back and came in close contact with me (even slightly touched me a few times). It probably wasn't intentional on his part, but it made me very uneasy so I kept inching back, but I couldn't go far because there was a pole behind me. Seeing me looking uncomfortable and casting glances at the two men, a man close to me spoke up and told the guys that I was behind them, which made them move further away. To everyone (especially those with more privillege) who step in to help those who are afraid/unable to speak up in these kinds of situations, from the bottom of my heart, keep being awesome. It's the least all of us could do to be better members of society, but not many would care enough to do it, so thank you.

After a talk session at Raw Art Space last night, I found myself around Pasar Seni after 11pm.  As I was waiting for a few people who were chatting by the sidewalk, I spotted a lady (whom I assume is homeless, because she had with her a small luggage and two worn-out plastic bags) telling off an old man who was lying down on a flattened cardboard in front of a nearby shop that was already closed. I thought she was harassing him because she sounded angry, but after a minute or so of being ignored by him, she raised her voice even louder until I overheard: "Jangan duduk sini! Nanti diorang datang untuk pemutihan, tahu!" (Don't stay here! They will come to 'cleanse' this area!) At first the man gave in (or maybe he was annoyed), as he slowly got up and started packing his things.  Seeing this, the lady walked away from him, towards my direction. He stopped midway and plomped back down on the cardboard after she left tho. I think she noticed that I overheard her inter...

I often feel that my art comes from a place of pain. But as I progress in my journey of healing, I wonder if that's just my trauma talking. The beautifully complex paintings visualising the artists' sadness and hopelessness. The tsunami of thoughts and feelings unfurled through poetry, evidence of a heavy mind and heart. The husky, raspy voice in songs I love, most likely caused by smoking habits of the singer. And so forth.

If you're not disabled, you don't get to decide what's ableist. If you're from the majority/dominant ethnic group, you don't get to decide what's racist.  If you're not poor, you don't get to decide what's classist. And so on and so forth. Instead of (re)defining what is or isn't discriminatory when you're not on the receiving end of policies/events/sentiments that are harmful to your social group, it's best to share/signalboost the voices and ideas of people who ARE affected by them. Use your privilleges to help rather than suppress those who have been/are still being silenced/sidelined.

5 things I learnt from going to Good Vibes this year: VIP tix was worth the price, because front row watching Lorde 😌 I'm much older than most of the crowd So many cute/hot/pretty/interesting-looking people but #2 😂 Genting hotel etc establishment is pretty impressive I underestimated how many people gamble I may elaborate and add more input... we'll see.

6am at a McD. A fairly old staff member sweeps the floor of the restaurant near me, but he pauses every few minutes. I thought he was trying to figure out how to remove stubborn stains in those areas, but after a few times of him doing this, I notice him standing quietly (almost swaying) behind me longer than before, this time right next to a table.  When I turned to look at him properly, I realised that he'd actually drifted off to sleep while standing - had he lost his footing, he would've fallen down or worse, knock his head on the corner of the table. As someone who can fall asleep quite easily and in the randomest positions, it was deeply concerning (and I can also empathise) how dangerous it would be if this happened. I was quickly considering ways to wake him up when he suddenly came to and continued sweeping, probably thinking/hoping that nobody saw him. He is mopping the floor now, which has woken him up some, thankfully. I sincerely hope he is okay.

It saddens me whenever people resort to using religious scripture to justify why we should be kind to other beings. Is receiving afterlife benefits (or avoiding divine punishment) the only reason to be a good person? Is our society so emotionally bankrupt that the only way for people to be decent to others is through religious guilt/personal gain?

My car broke down on my way back home from work yesterday. It was close to 10pm, and it started to drizzle when the engine kept dying after a few seconds of driving. It was a pretty horrible day, haha. When my parents arrived to help me out, we were told by a few people who were eating at some stalls nearby that there is a small car workshop close to where I was parked. And it happened to be open at night. So yeah, miracles do happen. After talking to the main mechanic (who said the problem was with a spark in the engine), we left the car with him so that he didn't have to rush to fix it. He called me around 7pm today to say the car was ready, so at around 8pm, we went to the workshop again. He charged me RM90, which I thought was pretty reasonable as it is... until I realise that he fixed not only the engine, but also a part of the engine frame which had a small hole, the lever to open the trunk, and one of the red rear lights (which I didn't realise wasn't working until h...

In the restroom at my office today, I could hear two people coming in talking about work. One of them used the cubicle next to me while the other stayed outside. They continued to discuss abut their studies and research methodology all the while the cubicle person answered the call to nature. I was both shocked and amazed. How do people hold serious conversations while doing toilet stuff??

Yesterday I had to take an Uber to get me from PJ to an LRT station around midnight, where I parked my car. My Uber driver was a masculine person (perhaps a trans man?), and we had some small friendly chat along the way. When he was dropping me off at the dark car park, he said he'd wait until I started the engine before he leaves. The only other Uber driver who was kind enough to offer this, and not just speed off leaving me alone, was an old man (he said he wouldn't want his daughter to be left alone in such a dark place). I think it says something about our society that out of the many e-hailing drivers who have driven me late at night (mainly Malays, and all men), only two actually cared about my safety at night: a gender-ambiguous Malay person who was probably raised as a girl, and an Indian uncle who is a father.

In this post, I explain about what is perhaps the most crucial part about travelling for me - the funds. Here are the top 5 things I think about when travelling: Travel budget Following a package tour vs using my own itinerary Currency and conversion rates Internet connection Accommodation

Travelling is highly encouraged in Islam  if done with good intentions, such as to learn more about the beauty of God's creations and to perform the hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca). However, travelling as a Muslim (or maybe as someone who obviously looks Muslim?) can be a bit tricky sometimes because there are certain things we may have to pay a bit more attention to. Here's a compilation of stuff I normally think about before/when I travel. (I may update this from time to time)