AT THE SPEED OF NOOR

It took over 2 decades for me to be diagnosed with ADHD.  On one hand, I'm relieved that I wasn't imagining my intellectual/mental/emotional struggles, and that I'm not alone in this. On the other, I'm angry that I've been punished/mocked all this while for things beyond my control, because my brain just works different. While I am fortunate to have parents who made sure I got extra support in my education because they saw I couldn't learn like other kids, I still grew up beating myself up for not being able to focus and be calm/punctual/organised/etc like other people (which makes me work harder so that I can 'function normally', causing me to be anxious all the time). Somehow I survived being neurodivergent in an ableist world... but at what cost?

In Malaysia, there is an initiative called #SIGNON to promote Bahasa Isyarat Malaysia (BIM) or Malaysian Sign Language (MSL) . I've been meaning to join one of their BIM introduction classes  which they have monthly for free, but I could never find the time to go/I was worried to go alone. In an effort to be start learning MSL, I decided to invite some friends (which I was too shy to do before), and a few of ended joined me on the first SIGN ON session for 2020!

Dang Wangi LRT station has two entrances, but only one of them has a 2-way escalator and an elevator, while the other only has an escalator that goes down, to the underground track. Both entrances have stairs but they're not just steep but also a long way down/up. Every workday, I have to use a bridge with stairs to/from this station, because there's a river between that station and my workplace. I have to use the 2nd entrance because it's closest to me. As I was walking back from work today, an old Malay pakcik was struggling to walk down the stairs for this bridge. When I asked if he needed assistance, he didn't say anything, just looked down. I asked again, but he didn't move, so I held his left upper arm gently and asked again. This time, he looked at me, slightly nodded, and looked at his feet. We walked down the staircase together, slowly. I warned him that there are more stairs when we reach the station, and he nodded. When we reached the other set of stairs,...

For the first time in my life today, I saw a hard labor foreign worker wearing glasses. I had to do a double take, because for over 30 years of me being alive, I've never seen a foreign construction worker wearing glasses here. It made me imagine if those among them who needed glasses had worn them... all the work they could've done or could have finished sooner... all the educational opportunities throughout their lives that they could have taken up... all the accidents they could've avoided/prevented. In case you forgot (as I usually do), short/long-sightedness is still a disability. Although these issues can be managed using glasses/contact lenses/lasik surgery, all these require money and a certain level of care that not all of us can afford. I'm so glad that the man I saw has glasses for his eyesight (I hope he has the right prescription!), but I also wish more people could get the help they need for conditions impacting their quality of life. It really is sad that...

If you're not disabled, you don't get to decide what's ableist. If you're from the majority/dominant ethnic group, you don't get to decide what's racist.  If you're not poor, you don't get to decide what's classist. And so on and so forth. Instead of (re)defining what is or isn't discriminatory when you're not on the receiving end of policies/events/sentiments that are harmful to your social group, it's best to share/signalboost the voices and ideas of people who ARE affected by them. Use your privilleges to help rather than suppress those who have been/are still being silenced/sidelined.