AT THE SPEED OF NOOR

It took over 2 decades for me to be diagnosed with ADHD.  On one hand, I'm relieved that I wasn't imagining my intellectual/mental/emotional struggles, and that I'm not alone in this. On the other, I'm angry that I've been punished/mocked all this while for things beyond my control, because my brain just works different. While I am fortunate to have parents who made sure I got extra support in my education because they saw I couldn't learn like other kids, I still grew up beating myself up for not being able to focus and be calm/punctual/organised/etc like other people (which makes me work harder so that I can 'function normally', causing me to be anxious all the time). Somehow I survived being neurodivergent in an ableist world... but at what cost?

In Malaysia, there is an initiative called #SIGNON to promote Bahasa Isyarat Malaysia (BIM) or Malaysian Sign Language (MSL) . I've been meaning to join one of their BIM introduction classes  which they have monthly for free, but I could never find the time to go/I was worried to go alone. In an effort to be start learning MSL, I decided to invite some friends (which I was too shy to do before), and a few of ended joined me on the first SIGN ON session for 2020!

Dang Wangi LRT station has two entrances, but only one of them has a 2-way escalator and an elevator, while the other only has an escalator that goes down, to the underground track. Both entrances have stairs but they're not just steep but also a long way down/up. Every workday, I have to use a bridge with stairs to/from this station, because there's a river between that station and my workplace. I have to use the 2nd entrance because it's closest to me. As I was walking back from work today, an old Malay pakcik was struggling to walk down the stairs for this bridge. When I asked if he needed assistance, he didn't say anything, just looked down. I asked again, but he didn't move, so I held his left upper arm gently and asked again. This time, he looked at me, slightly nodded, and looked at his feet. We walked down the staircase together, slowly. I warned him that there are more stairs when we reach the station, and he nodded. When we reached the other set of stairs,...

After a talk session at Raw Art Space last night, I found myself around Pasar Seni after 11pm.  As I was waiting for a few people who were chatting by the sidewalk, I spotted a lady (whom I assume is homeless, because she had with her a small luggage and two worn-out plastic bags) telling off an old man who was lying down on a flattened cardboard in front of a nearby shop that was already closed. I thought she was harassing him because she sounded angry, but after a minute or so of being ignored by him, she raised her voice even louder until I overheard: "Jangan duduk sini! Nanti diorang datang untuk pemutihan, tahu!" (Don't stay here! They will come to 'cleanse' this area!) At first the man gave in (or maybe he was annoyed), as he slowly got up and started packing his things.  Seeing this, the lady walked away from him, towards my direction. He stopped midway and plomped back down on the cardboard after she left tho. I think she noticed that I overheard her inter...