Musings: Having faith in others about you
A long-time friend who knows me better than most people recently told me (as I was writing down our food order) that the way I held the pen reminded me of the way I drew when we were younger, and how she wished she could draw like me. Context: She's a professional painter and has been in numerous exhibitions, so while I appreciated her sweet compliment/gesture, I can't bring myself to believe her. Not because she has ever lied to me or anything — what she said just doesn't make sense to me. I wish my brain wouldn't distort my thoughts and make me doubt the good things people who care about me say about me. This isn't about learning to accept praise. It's learning to believe that you do have value to people who care about you. That some people like you being in their lives, and can accept you as you are even when you are told many times before that nobody would. Now I'm crying again. I'm going to sleep this off tonight.